I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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