I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
