My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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