you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
you never un-have a 4some
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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