i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
