I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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