Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1046 607 share tweet
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize