don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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