you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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