well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
