There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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