party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
