I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
