I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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