You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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