these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
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One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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