im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize