Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
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The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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