We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
