It's Friday. Sex?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
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OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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