I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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