It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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