I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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