Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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