you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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