Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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