just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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