ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
