Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
