3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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