we're blogging at a bar
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
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It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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