just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize