Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
