And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
