Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i drank out of a bidet.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
