so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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