I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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