are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize