the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
