Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
