Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
