he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
