i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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