Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
