she smelled like a LAN party
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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