I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
