Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
