He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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