Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize