hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
