I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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