Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
