don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
