The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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