I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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