The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
